Lion conspiracy

November 2009
4.00am

Grrrrowlllllll...Uggh Uggh Uggh

Me: Goobledegloop...gurgle...slobber-slobber...snore...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

GRRRROWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL UGGHA UGGHA UGGHA UGGHA

Me: Silent. Utterly and completely. Extra wide-awake and cowering under my thick blanket on an antique four-poster bed.

M is already awake but much calmer. Being a light sleeper comes in very handy for M. No nasty surprises. No being woken up afraid to death thinking a lion is in your bed! Not much sleep though, ever, if you can hear rats romancing a mile away on a regular basis.

Me: What in the name...WHAT was that?

M: Lions. Early morning territory-marking stroll, I suppose.

Me: It sounded more like a regurgitation of last night's chital.

M: Well...you never know...

The forest Department's guest house in Sasan (Gujarat) was the nicest place to stay for many reasons; smart planning I called it at the time. M and I were keen on taking a safari into Gir Wildlife Sanctuary which was conducted by the Forest Department and it started at the guest house. So, getting out of bed and crossing the street was all the effort that was needed at that unearthly hour. Waking up could be done in the jeep while heading towards the reserve.

Curiously, the call-time for the safari was a half-hour after the lion wake-up call that had me thoroughly awake and all that 'smart' planning only came in handy when we discovered that the guest house was next to a crocodile breeding outfit (cool factor) or when we found out that the only neat food-joints were across the road. Anyways, at this point I began to develop a conspiracy theory and it started with the thought that some of the lions were on a Forest Department retainer solely for morning alarm duty.

But I digress.

We chose one of several routes chalked out for the safari. Ours took us through a Siddi village and culminated at Kamleshwar Dam which is artificially constructed. A long tale of it was narrated to us by the driver but it sounded so fantastic and improbable that we promptly took it with fists of salt and chose to forgot it. In the few hours that we were cruising like kings in the jeep, we must have seen half the species of birds documented by Salim Ali. An ornithologists dream and bird-watcher paradise it was. The lion, we did not see. This fact reaffirmed my fancy of a conspiracy afoot.

The thing that further confirmed the existence of the said conspiracy and the discovery of a curious fact: that lions can be stuck to a surface with a resin-based adhesive, was a visit to Devalia which serves as a 'Gir Interpretation Zone'. It provided us a lot of digested facts about Gir and its inhabitants; a term that I started using for the animals after a round inside the interpretation park. While we waited for that round, LCD televisions flashed a well-made movie on the reserve. At the gift shop, we asked to buy a copy. It wasn't for sale. That particular movie was made for The National Geographic Channel but we were shown other CDs. We mumbled excuses and sidled away from the sales boy.

With much trepidation we boarded a bus full of Gujarati tourists for a 20-minute round in the park. Post the dreamy safari, we weren't expecting much. Two minutes in and we spotted a nilgai. Five minutes in and our bus was parking itself after several faltered attempts, a few feet away from a pair of satisfied lionesses. I was just about done gaping when two things happened. One: the entire Gujarati contents of the bus exclaimed and moved towards the side of the bus that faced the lionesses. Two: I noticed the fence!

Some Gujju man meowed, another barked for the attention of the lioness. The bored cat didn't budge or even move. My theory: Resin glue.  So, this was a glorified zoo where the visitors could walk into the cage. I was about to concede to it being an ingenious idea when the bus started roaring unanimously,
"Paisa Wasool! Paisa Wasool!" (We got our money's worth!)

I did some mental mathematics:
Ticket for a single seat in the interpretation bus- Rs. 75/-
Jeep rental for a safari of a few hours- Rs. 1500/-

I loved the safari, even sans the lion.

For paisa wasool pictures of Gir click here.